Trust in God


God is good, false fears are foes, truth tatters those when understood….

“My brother was in the ambulance service – in St Ives.”

“I’m claustrophobic, can I travel in the front?”

I’m looking at their faces – gauging their expressions, listening carefully to their hushed conversation.

My God is good, false fears are foes…truth tatters those when understood…

I’m trying to be funny and relaxed. Why did he ask me if my voice always sounded like that?

Like what?…I thought I sounded normal…

My teeth are clenched, maybe that made me sound funny?

God is good…..when understood…truth tatters those..

I can see trees and buildings but I’m not sure where we are..

They told me what section I would be going into….but I wasn’t to worry…it was faster through Emergency.

We’re here, still no veins found…

False fears are foes….false fears are foes

I’m lying on a trolley…I can’t see around me…the neck brace is making it hard. I’m making phone calls…to and from….one contact to another…nobody home…false fears are foes…phone held directly up to the ceiling. I’m making phone calls – I’m in control – no problems if I stay with it…

It’s very cold in here, how can you stand to work in such a cold place?’

“Oh hello!…I used to cut your hair didn’t I ? How are you?”

God I sound great, they must notice how well I am…lucky…so lucky.

“Yes, you can cut my bra off – it’s old anyway…”

Cords, lights, beeps…hands everywhere…push, pull, squeeze…scanning….arms spread out…they seem anxious. They’re making me feel anxious…

A voice says…”We have to get a line in NOW!”

Cutting up the centre of my chest….cutting off my bra. Young intern doctor still staring, scanning up and down…her eyes inches from my skin…I can feel her tension. A phone conversation behind me…”We have a lovely lady here…


Eleven weeks pregnant…

Pedestrian accident.

“Is this what you give to everyone who comes in? Is this normal for everyone…?”

“It is…?”

“Good….” as long as this is normal routine, I must be fine.

I’m so cold

I can’t stop shaking – all over…uncontrollable.

Here’s Dad!

Tears are rolling down my face – no control – I’m a mess now. Shaking and crying. Should be happy, don’t know why I can’t stop crying….

I wanted to see Dad – not Craig. Dad will pray and make everything right.

Craig can keep waiting out there.

Busy staff, adjusting, monitoring, beeping….visitors have to go?

“He just got here…”

Ok….I’ll see you soon…”

Just as well I saw Dad – I’ll be fine now – the baby will be fine….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s