Messages from God

2014-06-19_20.09.15-1 Today I thought we would go to Church with Dad. I lay in bed thinking that the sound of the Readers voice and the words she would speak would be of healing benefit for my mind. I thought about the hymns we might sing and remembered how some hymns can move me to tears…even sobs. The words can say so much and impact powerfully on my thought. Healing thought.
I turned to my daughter who is always awake well before I stir. Most mornings I turn over careful to avoid eye contact with her if my intention is to continue dozing. If I make eye contact with her hopeful green eyes she swoops on me with the unbridled enthusiasm of a loving puppy. She’s in my bed beside me, edging me reluctantly away from the warm spot. I groan and feel annoyed, only momentarily, until I feel my baby’s warm soft skin beside me and her bubbling, happy outpouring of morning news fills me with forgiveness for the rude awakening. Intense love and gratitude for the fact I have a daughter who loves me enough to want to snuggle close to my morning breath and sleepy disheveled body. I run my hand over her smooth leg which is draped across my stomach as naturally as if it were my own. She is me….an extension of me….an extension of my Mum….of all the women in our line of descendants. She fits beside me like a puzzle piece….even if my physical puzzle piece is missing, the shape of me will infinitely remain…. just as the shape of Mum and her Mum remains….fitting together in a spiritual framework of love….moving together….thinking together….forming an unbreakable connection, moving through time and space and beyond anything we perceive here in this material existence.
“But I thought we were going to Richmond to see Uncle Bruce….and Meg will come too…remember?”
“Mmmmm…..” I murmur sleepily, piecing together all the possibilities…negatives…positives….the weather….the timing….the reluctance of my Uncle to have visitors…the condition of his elderly bachelors unit and the effect on the children…my tiredness….
“Mmm….I’m not sure baby…I’m thinking……”
I woke up yesterday morning panicking about Aprils wedding. My freshly turned twelve year olds wedding. That precious image of my daughter all grown up on her wedding day. All the conversations we will have in between now and then. All the advice I can impart to her….all the laughter, tears and comfort I can offer. Something about a Doctors diagnosis …or at this stage…..educated guess….leaves the future hanging in uncertainty. But I promised myself I would block those uncertain thoughts and fight them with Truth. The Truth I have been taught about at Church. The Truth I believe can heal. The Truth that God and his angels whisper into my thoughts when I least expect them. That Truth will eradicate any doubtful thoughts…any negative Doctors opinions…that Truth will prove to me again the power of God and set me up to make a demonstration I can share with others. Somehow I know writing is what I am here to do. Write what? I’ve asked myself this question many times. I have ideas but I don’t know where to start. So today is the start… I will begin documenting the ideas that come to mind. From Divine Mind to my computer screen. Let’s see where that will take us.

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